Rinaldo Fowler

There are no boring people, only boring questions.

2020-12-11

I sat engrossed. Over the last hour, he had told me about repairing laptops for resale, refurbishing a house for his son, and his study of medieval board games.

He could have talked about anything, and I don't think I would have minded.

It was the first time I had sat and listened. Not listening with the intent to respond. Not waiting for my turn to speak. Just listening.

My questions came from curiosity. Why laptops? The best bookshelves came from schools? Elephants, in chess?

There are no boring people or interesting people, just questions that lead to interest or boredom.

Being interesting means asking questions with curiosity. Try to find the subject that makes their eyes shine. Ask questions that give them room to share themselves.

Being boring means asking questions that lead nowhere. Seeking to confirm what you already know slams the door to their heart. You get the answer, but with no life in it.

That's why listening without judgement leads to interesting conversations - because it creates space for the other person to talk about things you don't know.

So when someone says, "They're so boring!" it means they've stopped asking. They say it because it's satisfying to affirm their beliefs.

So if you say that someone is boring, it shows that you've stopped being curious, and that you don't know how to ask interesting questions.

Therefore, there are no boring people, only boring questions.